SO YOU WANT TO LEARN DANISH? | #HIFIVEFOR
Hi, here’s FIVE things to keep in mind FOR anyone about to try and learn themselves some Danish (originally posted from a bedroom in Denmark in February 2016).
Before we dive into the fairly niche topic of 'Wanting To Learn Danish', I think it's important to mention a couple relevant pieces of information first:
I sat down at the Danish learning table as an “I’m sorry… I know it's a little lazy and ignorant of me, but I've only bothered learning how to communicate in English so far” man of 30+ years. In other words, the part of my brain that would normally be used to comprehend a new language has long since grown over with weeds.
At the time of writing this, I have only been attempting to learn Danish for a few months. Which is another way of me saying, "I still can’t speak Danish very well. In fact, you might say that I still can’t speak it at all." You are literally about to read advice on how to learn Danish from a guy that has not managed to learn all that much Danish.
OK. Now that we’ve appropriately lowered all expectations down to a level I feel more comfortable speaking from, here are my 5 pearls of earned wisdom for anyone that is thinking of trying to start learning themselves some Danish.
#1 - THE PRONUNCIATION IS TOTALLY FUCKED
There is no getting around this. For some reason, way back in Denmark’s early days, they let someone with an apparent speech impediment decide how the language would be spoken. I'm sure if the Danes could go back in time they'd reconsider putting a Viking with pronunciation problems in charge of pronunciation. Hindsight is 20/20.
As an english speaker first glancing at the Danish alphabet, you’ll start off being most worried about 'The Three Letters What Don’t Exist In The English Alphabet'. These are also known as the “A Stuck To An E” (æ), the “O's Are Not Welcome Here” (ø) and “The Little O Jumped Over An A” (å). But besides being the hardest letters to find on your english laptop, these three letters are not the ones you should be most concerned about.
True, when you first see a word like “rød”, your initial reaction will be “what the feck is that in the middle?!”, but it won't be too far into your adventures in learning Danish that you discover it’s the “d”, and the bastardised way the Danes sometimes say it, that will cause the most social anxiety.
To me and my ears, a Danish "d" often sounds like the “l” in “fell”, except the pronunciation is a little trickier (also, sometimes a "d" sounds like how you'd expect a "d" to sound like, because why not). What I try to do, and what seems to help get me the closest to sounding like a real Dane, is to say “el” like an English person saying "El Niño", but I imagine that a small person has punched my tongue and grabbed the "Niño" before I can finish pronouncing the “el” all the way. This often leads to me looking like I just vomited my tongue a bit when I try to say things like “rød”… but it also leads to Danish people going “wow, nice pronunciation”.
Here's some videos to help better prepare you for the really hard time you are about to have with Danish pronunciation:
#2 - If your LEARNING MATERIALS are not AUDIO + Text, they’re pretty USELESS
This is probably true when learning all languages, but it is especially true with Danish. So if you find some learning materials that do not come with audio, or audio that does not come with text to reference, keep looking for better learning materials. Because Danish words do not sound like you think they read and Danish words do not spell like you think they sound.
Finding Danish learning materials can be difficult, as it is not one of those sexy languages like French or Spanish or German (just kidding, German is not sexy sounding, but there is a lot of learning materials for it). Sometimes it can feel like pretty slim pickings when trying to learn how to speak-a-the-dansk. I had many failed attempts at even getting over the first hump of learning Danish because I couldn’t find any good source material at my local library / bookstores.
Thanks to the internet, I eventually came across Memrise. It’s free. You can find courses with pronunciation (again, Danish is not sexy, so there are a lot less options than more popular languages… but there are some). And Memrise's approach to learning the material seems really good—at least for me and my brain.
Start doing 15 minutes a day on Memrise, and pretty soon you’ll start thinking that maybe you’re at a point where you can write a blog post to advise other people.
Eventually, you're going to need to expand your learning materials. For example, Memrise mostly helps you learn words by repetition but it doesn't really break down any grammar rules. So if you want to learn when to use "en" and when to use "et" in front of a word, you'll need to look elsewhere (and then after you look elsewhere you'll learn that there isn't really any set rule for when you use either because WHY WOULD THERE BE ANY LOGIC TO THIS BLOODY LANGUAGE?!).
But Memrise will get you to the point where you can move on to more text heavy materials and actually make sense of them. So it's a good place to start.
#3 - LEARN THE 100 MOST COMMON WORDS & BASIC GRAMMAR RULES
There is a Tim Ferris blog post about how the key to becoming conversation fluent in any language in just a short while is to focus in on learning the 100 most common words. And he has another post about how translating just a few simple sentence into the language you want to learn, you can unlock that language's basic grammar rules and be well on your way.
Now, I can’t say that this was my approach and it totally worked, but… I think it is a pretty useful concept to tell yourself when you are just getting started. The early learning days can get quite discouraging, so thinking “I just need to learn 100 words and translate a few sentences?! A monkey that knows how to use Google Translate could do that!” helps keep you motivated.
Also, when finding the above Tim Ferris links I noticed that he has since posted some more “hey… learning languages can be way easier than you think" posts, so if you want to build up your pre-learning confidence maybe have a read of 'How to Learn Any Language in Record Time and Never Forget It' and '12 Rules for Learning Foreign Languages in Record Time — The Only Post You’ll Ever Need'. Danish is hard, so any tricks or false belief in the easiness of the task ahead is helpful.
#4 - WANT TO FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN?
Learning a new language is a great way to re-live how it feels to be a little kid again. Well, maybe not re-experiencing that blissful brand of childlike wonder —I think we’ve all been far too corrupted by now for getting another go at that feeling—but it is still possible for you to have grown adults give you applause for doing tasks usually reserved for toddlers; things like counting to ten (also known as “ti” in Danish) or naming almost all of the things at the dinner table.
“Det er en talklerken!” you’ll say as they point at a plate. And when you confidently say “Det er en ske!” when they hold up a spoon, they will damn near drop that spoon, along with their jaws, and begin banging their palms together for you. And you know what? They won’t even think you’re an idiot when you can’t remember what butter is called, because hey, you’re just a little foreign kid now. And little foreign kids are cute because they mispronounce the darnedest things.
Eventually, most will tire of testing your low level language skills after a few rounds (because, let's be honest, it's not actually that impressive — especially since almost everyone in Denmark can speak English fluently), but if you start feeling over 'Small Child Trivia Night' before your hosts, a good sentence to learn to say is “Kan du stave det?". This means "Can you spell that?", which, after the 4th or 5th time you say it to someone trying to test your abilities, it should eventually put off even the most keen amateur Danish teacher.
And if you have a real keener on your hands, follow every one of their "do you know how to say this?" questions with another question: “Kan du skrive det ned?", which is "Can you write that down?". They will leave you to your rye bread soon enough.
#5 - DANISH AND ENGLISH ARE MORE SIMILAR THAN YOU THINK
Despite your initial thoughts when first hearing it being spoke, Danish and English actually have many similarities. A lot of words are super similar and some words are even spelt exactly the same. This all makes a lot of sense once you remember that Danish Vikings were pillaging it up in the UK many years ago, so of course there is going to be a lot of crossover. However, there is not so much crossover that things become super easy, there is just enough that it gives you a little hope in knowing that learning Danish is not as “I might as well be learning Chinese" as you originally thought it would be.
But, be warned: as you progress and start mastering certain words and grammar, you can't just directly translate things from English to Danish. Sometimes the Danes put things in a weird order, sometimes they don't. Sometimes you think you've grasped the proper structure and all the words that should make up the sentence you're about to say, and then it will turn out that the Danes “just don't say it like that" or "in this certain situation, and for reasons that cannot be explained, you'd actually say something completely different than what you have logically attempted".
Also, just because something is an expression where you are from, and just because you know the words to now say that expression in Danish… that doesn't mean it works over in Denmark. Although, that hasn't stopped me from telling people to “sparke sten" ("kick rocks").
Alright. I think that is more or less all the "getting started learning Danish" wisdom I can pass on from my first 3 months of attempting it in my free time. I will now leave you with a helpful quote from the comments section of this 'The very rough guide to Danish' article…
"No Englishman could speak this Language adequately unless he were drunk and had no roof to his mouth"
And with drinking now revealed as a vital part of my educational tool kit, I best get back to trying to master that Danish language… skål!